Reconcile This.

So, I know I've mentioned previously about some of my "boyfriends/husbands."  I don't think I ever described T though (T is his actual nickname, so it seems easiest to use).  T may be one of my biggest suitors because he REFUSES to take my constant answer of "No" personally.  There was a time when he would ask me out on dates literally 7-10 times a day.  Thankfully, he's gained some acceptance into the fact that this relationship will not happen, so it's usually 3-5 times now.  T is a nice guy who likes to bring me flowers and will introduce me to anyone and everyone he knows (he occasionally brings people into Nativity just to meet me).

He also shares too much information about himself, which I will relay some of this information now.  He's in his late 20's and has been in and out of various jails and prisons since he was in his mid-teens.  He's a country boy from the Midwest with a long list of convictions.  The list includes theft, drug trafficking/distribution, drug possession, and assorted other things.  Not uncommon for the people that I come into contact every day.  He is currently on parole and wears an ankle monitor which doesn't allow him to leave Pierce County.

What I'm really posting about though is a piece of information that I recently learned about my friend though.  T's a sex offender.  And I'm not talking about "indecent exposure" or some other ridiculous charge that gets a person on the registry.  T has various charges of child molestation with both young boys and girls ranging in ages from 10-16.

Now, I can imagine the horror that is flashing through your mind and the thoughts of insanity concerning myself and my on-going friendship with T.  I'll admit when I first found out (via text), I was shocked.  I immediately looked up his file and broke into tears.  It's easy for me to ignore charges of theft and drugs, but how was I supposed to reconcile this?  By God's grace, when I found out this information, I was on a retreat from work and didn't see T for 2 months because of a parole violation, but he recently came back into my life.

It seems like nothing has changed between him and I.  When I'm monitoring the smoke room, T will still come up and talk to me for the whole hour that I sit there.  He brought me flowers this weekend and constantly asks me out on dates, but will settle for a game of cards.  Yet, in the back of my mind, I know this information about him.  I'm pretty sure that he doesn't have a clue that I know about his past, but maybe he does?  Who knows.

I don't have any answers or words of wisdom to this dilemma.  It's a daily struggle, but I've decided that there is no point in ending my friendship with T.  I value him as a person even with this information.  I do not fear for my safety when I am around him.  Most of all, I imagine if I were in the position of his mother.  Sure, I'd be heartbroken about his actions, but he's still my son.  It'd be tough, but I honestly believe that I'd chose to love him despite of this.  So, for right now, I'm going to choose to love T for the humor he brings, the stories he shares of life in prison and drug worlds that I know nothing about, and just because.

Thanks.